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  • demon:i possessed you
  • me:get the fuck out
  • demon:damn...aight...rude ass bitch...i just need a place to stay my girl kicked me out and i aint got no money...
  • me:shit man, you can stay but don't be spinning my head like an owl and shit
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hate:

i’m so afraid of marriage like what if you marry someone and like have kids with them and then they decide they don’t love you anymore or something idk man but that shit is scary

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boywhocriedwerewolf:

ohmycarveredlund:

nepeta-lives:

I came out as a queer during football practice when my coach was like “son, you’re having trouble throwing straight” and I replied “I’m also having trouble being straight”. It got very quiet and then coach just shook his head and said “throw the damn ball, Cooper”

i have been laughing for 3 million years

YES^

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richard-sp8-jr:

when i was in kindergarten i had this babysitter who cooked the best steak i’d ever had and i’d always ask what it was and she said “people” every time and i’d laugh and ask what it really was and she’d just reply “people” and i found out in first grade that she got arrested and was sentenced to 50 years-life in prison

and that’s the story about how my babysitter was basically hannibal lecter and i was will graham for a whole year

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ciggers:

 ciggers:

when I take a picture of somebody :

image

when I ask somebody to take a picture of me :

 image

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umplify:

Stressed, depressed and too poor to be well dressed

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Do something now that will make the person you’ll be tomorrow proud to have been the person you are today.

TheDailyPositive.com (via thedailypozitive)
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nice-wig-janis:

asking your hairdresser for a trim and they cut too much:
image

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